Then they act like a volcano and will often explode on the other person with a long list of issues. They use words like “always and never” as they bring up their long-held inventory of grievances. When you don’t resolve your feelings as things come up, they’ll accumulate until they can’t be contained anymore. Some gunnysackers don’t explode and, instead, leave a relationship or job suddenly (and some do both). If you are struggling with conflict avoidance and want to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner, Makin Wellness can help. This blog post will explore what conflict avoidance is, why you do it, and the consequences of doing so.
Why Avoidance Coping Is Unhealthy
Conflict avoidance doesn’t have to destroy your workplace, marriage, or family when you use the above five ways to deal with conflict. Do not overuse padded words otherwise it blurs the issue causing your message to lose its intended meaning. Keep the conversation light if it gets intense yet be sure to address the issue. An effective technique how to deal with someone who avoids conflict to encourage open communication and face conflict when someone avoids it is to observe people’s body language. It’s okay to practice expressing what you need in low-stakes situations instead of with the most risky people. You want to build your capacity to engage in this skill, and it’s reasonable to acquire more confidence gradually.
Mastering Narcissistic Bullying Tactics: A How-to Guide
- Let’s say you want to remind your boss that you don’t answer work calls after 5 p.m.
- The blame games lead to heightened animosity and prevent any meaningful progress towards closure.
- If you have any legal concerns, medical issues, or mental health questions, please seek the advice of a licensed attorney, healthcare provider, or mental health provider respectively.
- Learning how to overcome conflict avoidance can lead to happier or at least more sorted relationships.
Spinelli highly recommends therapy for people who tend to avoid conflict because it can help you understand why you avoid conflict and practice conflict-management techniques. If we observe healthy conflict resolution, we’ll be more likely to practice effective conflict management as adults. When conflict is all about criticism and pointing fingers, it usually isn’t productive. Instead of applying conflict avoidance techniques, overcome your fear of conflict by approaching issues with solutions. If you’re married to a conflict-avoidant spouse, start today by creating a safe =https://ecosoberhouse.com/ space for open dialogue.
Recognizing Behavioral Patterns
This approach may stem from a desire to maintain harmony, preserve relationships, or avoid discomfort. Ultimately, cultivating a supportive environment where both parties feel heard and respected is essential for building resilient relationships. When approaching the person with whom you are in conflict, you might acknowledge the discomfort you feel before Twelve-step program explaining why you believe it is important to talk things through.
- It involves working together with the other person to come up with a solution that benefits everyone involved.
- Conflict avoidance occurs when a person refuses to admit that they may have a conflict with someone else.
- Disagreeing with someone doesn’t necessarily mean “fighting.” Keep in mind that it’s not about blaming the other person or proving who’s right and wrong in a given situation.
- You also might double-check your company’s policy on after-hours phone calls, as you can use this policy as a backup.
Try and identify the negative ways that avoiding confrontation can affect your relationship. This can motivate you to speak up and work on developing healthier conflict behaviors. Fears of rejection or abandonment may be subconscious or conscious, but they can drive conflict avoidance. Sometimes this shows up as people-pleasing behavior where you try to appease to others to seek approval. But other times, it simply means hiding your true feelings or avoiding honest communication because you don’t want to be perceived in a negative light.
Taking a small step toward making changes to your behavior will get you headed in the direction you want to go. If you take a bigger step each time, you’ll soon find yourself on a path toward active coping. Some forms of passive coping, however, are not maladaptive and are actually healthy. These healthier forms of coping do not necessarily approach the problem directly but they do affect our response to the problem. Remember that it is healthy to practice techniques that help you feel calmer as you face a difficult situation—even if the techniques don’t affect the situation directly.